VBS T Shirts: Make ‘Em Last

VBS T Shirts: Make ‘Em Last

It's an age-old conundrum. The week of VBS looms right around the corner (you'll notice the vats of commercial chemicals back behind the church, ready to be manufactured into industrial-strength glitter), preparation is in full swing, and you suddenly face the looming question: "Wait, am I supposed to wear this t-shirt for the whole week?"

It's a valid question. The precedent and expectations feel fairly immoveable, and yet a week-long shirt marathon (especially given the absolute physical rigors of VBS) appears logistically impossible.

Have no fear. Take these options to heart:

Most VBS shirts are predominantly a solid primary color. Consider finding four other shirts and spray-painting them the same color. For added realism, use a sharpie to draw on the logo and accompanying text.

Yup, this is exactly the way to not do it. Unless you're trying to make VBS shirt hula hoops. In which case I would refer you to resubmit your background check application.

Your VBS shirt can simply be divided into five different wearable sections. Cut it into strips (vertically - horizontal won't... stay on) and just wear a different strip each day. This is neat, because each day feels new (and a little risqué). Wednesday - or "Neck-Hole Day" as it's known by veterans - will be a real treat.

If inventory isn't tightly monitored, simply claim, "Oh, shoot, I forgot my shirt today! Can I get another one - to borrow?" each day. It's best to time these questions for the most frantic and unorganized part of the morning - catch people off-guard and you'll be more likely to garner a hurried assent.

The Jr. High Boy Method is to simply lay out the shirt each afternoon and spray with Axe. There are pros and cons to this solution:

Essence of what? Prepubescence? "Mmmmm... my favorite. Essence of Angst."

Pro: Quick and fairly easy.
Con: You're literally just dousing your shirt in Axe.
Pro: It'll smell like you take care of yourself on Tuesday.
Con: Everyone knows what's up by Wednesday, and you'll be alone and shunned by Thursday.
Pro: You'll feel self-confident and hip buying a spray can of Axe from the store.
Con: No you won't.

Bring a washing machine and dryer with you to VBS, and simply set them up in the main foyer or lobby of the church. You'll not only be wearing clean shirts each day, but you'll also be the one volunteer everyone else wants to know - you have the hook up.

Of course, if you ARE blind... I don't know if it makes this excuse more or less valid.

Wear dark sunglasses and carry a long stick or pole. If people assume you're blind, they'll be much less likely to call you out for not wearing VBS Planning Committee Approved Apparel. Beware the Conformity Police, however. Blindness has never been a valid excuse in their book.

Finally, you might elect to leave the state. Overall, this is an elegant solution. Not only is it the only solution that results in an impromptu vacation, but it also allows you to avoid VBS altogether. There might be complications that arise from this solution, however, so consider all the implications before setting out.

One of the best options is to simply rotate these solutions through your years as a VBS leader. You'll never need to struggle with the shirt question again.

You're welcome.

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